INFJ Wiring of the Mind. Hey it’s Joel Mark Witt from Personality
Hacker. As an INFJ your mind is fundamentally wired
differently from other personalities. You’ve probably already heard that you are an introvert,
intuitive, feeler, judger. And a lot of articles and resources focus on the behaviors you show
the world as an INFJ. Behavior can be helpful – but it isn’t the
complete picture when figuring out your personality. I want to give you a peek inside your mind
to expose the mental wiring that makes you an INFJ.Let’s get started. Your four letter code INFJ gives us insight
into how your mind is learning information and making decisions. The primary way your mind sees the world is
by using a mental process we’ve nicknamed “Perspectives.” It’s technical name
is Introverted Intuition. When looking at the world – Perspectives is
interested in finding deep insight. It tends to ask a lot of discovery questions, like:
What is the meaning of knowledge? What are the long-range implications of emerging
social trends? How are two people in an argument actually
agreeing without realizing it? Imagine a four passenger car. If one of your mental processes could drive
– it would be Perspectives. Using this mental process puts you in flow. You’ve been using
it your whole life. It’s your reality filter and informs what captures your attention. If Perspectives is how you see the world as
an INFJ, then the mental process we’ve nicknamed Harmony is how you make your best decisions.
Harmony is a feeling process and asks the question, “What gets everyone’s needs
met?”Think about that four passenger car again… if Perspectives is in the driver
seat – then Harmony is in the front passenger seat. It is your Co-Pilot mental process and
what we call your growth state. Of course – this is a four passenger car so
you also have two mental processes in the backseat. Sitting right behind the Co-Pilot is a mental
process we call Accuracy. Accuracy asks the question “Does this make sense?” It’s
a thinking process concerned with data, truth and congruity of thought. When not used in
a healthy way, Accuracy can cause an INFJ to withdraw and become hypercritical of themselves
and other people. This mental process has the development of
about a ten year old child. Finally – behind the driver of Perspectives
sits a mental process we’ve nicknamed Sensation. We call this your blind spot or three year
old mental process. Sensation is all about real time kinetics, and understanding the
world through your physical senses by being fully immersed in the here-and-now. Notice – we haven’t talked about INFJ behaviors.
Instead, I’ve been talking about the mental wiring of your mind. Behaviors can only give
us clues to how your mind is wired. It’s far more interesting to dive into WHAT CAUSES
our behaviors as people. Here at Personality Hacker – We don’t talk
about personality types for their own sake. We think understanding your personality is
one of the best ways to frame your personal growth journey.And we attract INFJs who are
interested in personal growth.Next up – I want to talk about the best way to grow yourself
as an INFJ. Remember the car model we used to show the
mental wiring of your personality?  As an INFJ your Co-Pilot is the mental process called
Harmony (it’s technical name is Extraverted Feeling). This is what we call your growth position.
It’s the highest leverage point for growth in your personality. Harmony allows you as an INFJ to make decisions
that help you answer the question “What gets everyone’s needs met?”
Here are some ways that an INFJ can phrase questions using their Harmony process… Am I truly giving back or just seeking approval?
What is the kind thing I can do – not just the nice thing?
How can I be available to meet people’s needs without compromising my own?
Does it make sense for me to put aside all my desires for this relationship? Harmony encourages you as an INFJ to proactively
set boundaries for yourself and others leading to an ultimately happier atmosphere. It’s easy for an INFJ to get lost in seeking
the approval of others. But if those relationships are never built on intimacy and understanding
– you will always feel like something is missing. Growing your Harmony can be a challenge for
you as an INFJ. It can feel threatening to your heart to become vulnerable and speak
up in the outside world. Every personality type tends to avoid growing
their co-pilot mental process. But here lies the power of understanding your personality.Don’t
see your Harmony as something to delay or avoid – embrace getting into this mental process
because it gives you the opportunity to create boundaries and become an empowered INFJ. Harmony also encourages an INFJ to  get out
of the ‘perfectionism’ cycle, replacing it with the concept: “I too grant approval
to others.” No one is the final arbiter of approval for you. As an INFJ you can also
give and withhold your approval. Setting boundaries in the outside world gets
your needs met. It’s feels right to focus on the part you play in the approval/disapproval
social game. If you want to quickly connect with others
and remain empowered – you will need to get out of your comfort zone and set boundaries
in the real world. As an INFJ – your mind is already wired to
create win-wins. Don’t ignore this natural talent that you posses. Start asking – “what boundaries can I create
in the real world?” Spend some focused time feeling through the pain points that you know
need boundaries. Say “NO” to every request for one full
day. It doesn’t matter how easy the request is – just say no as practice for setting boundaries.
Ask “What “me time” will I create for myself today?”
Pay attention to crazymakers – those people who step on your boundaries. Practice standing
up for yourself when they come into your world and demand attention. Do what it takes to set your personal boundaries.As
an INFJ you will bring the best version of yourself to the world when you open your heart
to others – fully empowered – with strong personal boundaries in place.We’d love for
you  – to keep us up to date about your journey. One of the best places to do that is our Facebook
page (Facebook dot com forward slash Personality Hacker).And of course – come over to Personality
Hacker dot com and leave a comment – ask a question – or take our personality test.Next
I want to talk about the defense strategies your mind uses that steal happiness from you.And
of course – what to do about it.The word defensive. You probably think of of an emotional state
– or someone getting offended in the moment. “She’s acting so defensive.” someone
might say. But I’m not talking about emotions. I’m
using the word positionally. As an INFJ you have a specific area of your mind that you
defend. As an INFJ – That’s your Accuracy process
sitting in the backseat of your car. It has the sophistication of a 10-year-old child.That’s
okay when you use this process to create intimacy or playfulness. The trouble starts when you
begin to allow this 10 year old process to seduce you into a self-protective space. As an INFJ, Accuracy (it’s technical name
is Introverted Thinking) generally shows up as withdrawal and a critical spirit. Accuracy
is, in a large part, about cold facts and consulting your inner logical truth on a matter.
When done well – Accuracy is about rooting out biases and inconsistencies of logic. But when you’re using Accuracy defensively
it won’t be about fault finding in a person’s logic, it will be about finding fault with
the person themselves. You may keep people at arm’s length, often through criticism. You’re much more at peace and happy when
you’re focused on positive, connective relationships. In an effort to protect yourself from being
vulnerable, you deny yourself the opportunity to be truly connected and understood. At worst,
INFJs can even become physical shut-ins, so afraid of being vulnerable that they rarely
leave the house and instead choose to wallow in their own self-loathing about being perpetually
misunderstood Focus more on creating healthy boundaries
around people’s energy rather than strategies to synthesize invulnerability.
Don’t let your Accuracy process steal your happiness.The solution is to focus on growing
your Harmony process like we’ve talked about before. As an INFJ, you’re much more connected and
happy when you’re focused on meeting the needs of those around you AND yourself. If
your 10 year old of Accuracy gets into the mix, it will encourage a critical spirit and
an unwillingness to do open your heart to others. I want to hear from you. How are you letting
your 10 year old of Accuracy hijack your happiness? What are the ways you as an INFJ are playing
it safe? You can leave a comment or take our personality
test over at Personality Hacker dot com. Next we’ll talk about how you best show
and receive love as an INFJ.I’ve got two quick lists for you today. First – how INFJs
ask “do you love me.” Second – how INFJs show other people love.
Here are a few examples of how INFJs ask do you love me? Imagine an INFJ asking these
questions: Do you feel connected to me?
Will you check in and make sure I’m okay? Will you acknowledge and take care of my needs?
Am I safe with you? Do you accept and approve of me?
Here are examples of INFJs saying “Yes – I love you” Imagine an INFJ making these statements:
I will meet your needs before I meet my own. I will check in regularly and make sure you’re
okay. I will do my best to keep my moral up.
I will show you appreciation in whatever way I’d like to be shown appreciation. As an INFJ you are probably nodding in agreement.
Just remember that other personalities can sometimes see these ways you show love as
smothering or intrusive.Feel free to share with the people in your life how your mind
works. Let them know the ways you show love are truly connective for you.
If you want to go deeper in your personal development – we have tons of resources, articles
and recordings about personal development through the lens of understanding your personality. Come over to Personality Hacker dot com.
Next up – let’s talk about where to go next in your personal growth as an INFJ. I have
some action steps for you. We’ve been talking about YOU – the INFJ
personality type. I’ve already detailed the mental wiring of your mind. We’ve talked
about your highest leverage point for growth and shed light on your defensive strategies.
And we’ve outlined how you give and receive love.
So what’s next for you as an INFJ? How will you launch yourself on a personal
development journey that works for YOU?Understanding that each of us have a unique personal growth
path seems obvious. And yet – self help authors and teachers often teach a one size fits all
model of growth. At Personality Hacker – It works well to personalize
your development as an INFJ. So that’s how we’ve designed our frameworks and models.
You now know the mental process to grow yourself as an INFJ is Harmony. Most INFJs want to create win-wins in the
outside world. They want to connect people and provide a happy environment.
As an INFJ – there’s nothing as rewarding as seeing your loved ones enjoying life and
living it to the fullest. The enemy of Harmony is cold, distant criticism.
Harmony requires the strength to wade through a world of people in pain looking for someone
to act as an emotional dialysis machine. You have to set up healthy boundaries in order
for you to get your needs met. It’s the only way for you to show up at your best and
not in an ungenerous, undernourished state. Set up your conditions to access this mental
process of Harmony as much as possible. When you come across someone with unmet needs,
put yourself in their shoes to determine what that need may be. If you cannot identify it,
ask them what it could be in a loving way. Some people may not know themselves, so offer
to talk about it until the need is identified. Give plenty of genuine affirmation, but avoid
praise if don’t mean it. Offer honest support, and be okay if the timing
isn’t right for them just yet.   Work on building each of these skills, especially
the ones that are most challenging for you. It’s common for INFJs to feel almost spiritually
satisfied once they conquer their fear of vulnerability and experience connection with
solid personal boundaries in place. Most of your growth happens by thoughtfully
opening your heart to others. If you really want a deep dive into your individual
growth plan as an INFJ I invite you to check out our INFJ Personal Development Starter
Kit.You can find more information at Personality Hacker dot com.
Let me know what personal growth actions you are taking in your life and what has already
resonated for you. I’m Joel Mark Witt for Personality Hacker. Talk with you soon.

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100 thoughts on “INFJ Personality: Mind Wiring For Personal Growth”

  1. Learn More About INFJs:
    Read About INFJ Personality In Our Book:
    Listen to 48 minutes of INFJ advice here:

  2. Thank you, Joel. I'm Norm and that's my name too! hehe. I have taken in this message as my first contact with you. I like what you are saying. It makes sense and, maybe more impacting to me, it FEELS right. My heart was wide open and welcoming of your message. And I got no argument.
    Thank you again. I've subscribed to your channel and look forward to notification of future releases from you.
    Bless you and All the Love to You.

  3. I keep my personal inner items (of growth) to myself… for just as long as one keeps quiet, can ppl consider them highly intelligent . Am no public commodity.

  4. I'm an INFJ plus my b-day 10/16/1978 equals 33 so I'm also a master teacher. I was born to change the world. My name Walter means Leader of the Army

  5. wow iv never been able to explain myself but I can be a contradiction. . I cannot believe the accuracy of this. ..
    I always wondered why I was different and see the universe in the way that I do. .
    over the years my intuition of self has grown..
    I have to seek truth at all times. .
    knowing the truth has made me understand things better. .

  6. I'm gonna say no to my boss today when he tells me to get to work… No, I get what you meant lol, I'm not actually gonna do that but this is certainly an aspect of my personality I need to improve. It's strange though. I used to say no when it negatively affected me. Now I find it hard because I don't want to upset those close to me. For strangers, this is much easier for me. Gladly it seems my defensive state seems to be in check and healthy. I'll admit to not being able to live in the moment too effectively. My mind tends to trail off towards perspectives, deep wild thoughts and how to create a win-win scenario for the extreme amount of stress I currently have on me due to my ex in regards to what I owe, how much or little she is willing to help with the debt we racked up due to my inability to say no as well as being forced between her and my parents as a middle-man on issues "agreed upon" by both parties.

  7. Wyd!!!!???? Are you guys serious???!!! Ok either you buy total bullshit or I do bc that was the stupidest video I have ever seen!!!!!!!!!#!! I am a infj and I can assure you I have know 10 year old as a co-pilot!!!!!! Wow!!!!! And Charles Benson it is not good to view your self as a 10 year old…although you have problems, or maybe a issue or two, or you been told by a medical professionals that you have the mind of a 10 year old, I don't know. But I can assure if that's what you believe well then that's what you receive!!! Wow!!! Ok I could slam this but I'm already losing interest in it bc yes my mind is wired for wins, but not debates. So yes I do agree with parts of the video as of getting out and experience in life so you can grow as a individual.
    Ok so did you see?? I just contradicted myself some might say. Well not exactly, I'm honest as a info and I will point out importants.
    So now every body let's take a look, reflect and think, put that 10 and 3 year old to work….lmao!!! Ok so if your are anything like me then you have watch and listen to everything. So this must b the diamond in the rough??? LOL!!! Fuck know!!!! Out of 10 videos this is the only one that spoke of things like that, the closest thing that came to that was a video that said neither smart or dumb. Other than that I had 8 videos say that we are highly intelligent!!!! So do you do math???? Look I don't have the time to brake it down for you but if you have any since then you should catch on by now!!!!!!! Ok say my opinion is that this is to try to redirect your thinking, to plant a seed… Look you haft to know what the power of reaping and sowing if not then Google it YouTube it find out. But I will not even let certain things entertain my thoughts for to long. Would you like to know why??
    Well maybe another day or you might be able to open your mind and find me and I can give you the most powerful information you will ever hear!!!!
    Thanks for reading

    Thoughts Become Things
    Dustin Garrison

  8. I have learned to stay home or go places alone. Been hurt too many times when I was younger. I am content to stay home a lot now that I am retired at 71 years old. I was getting out 3 days a week until last week to take care of an elderly lady 12 hrs/day. She is dying now.

  9. …I've read alot and heard alot and observed many regarding everything "INFJ", …the 1st 6 min is pretty dope. I can't totally digest the entire car model in this moment but I am definately liking this extremely visual add to explaining processing.

    Specifically with a model most tend to have done or can relate to.

  10. Thank you for your videos, Joel and Antonia! You're doing an excellent job! I have a question that has been rattling around in my head. Wouldn't the 3rd and 4th functions still be considered strengths and the shadow functions be our true weaknesses? Or would the shadow function of my dominant function be a stronger strength than, say, my 3rd or 4th function?

    I've been digging into MBTI here and there for over 15 years. Initially (in my 20s), I tested INFP consistently but at the same time would test INTP, INFJ and INTJ from time to time. In recent years I've consistently tested INFJ but tested INTJ on your website. I feel like a ball of contradictions and have resonated heavily with Boom Shika's short videos about INFJ, which has pretty much helped me settle on that as my type. Yes, I've been obsessive about settling on my type and have an obsessive information gathering tendency in general (usually so I can sift through it all and draw personal meaningful conclusions).

    I ask the question above because I feel like Ti (my 3rd funtion), which you say is as developed as a 10 yr old, is stronger for me than, say, Fi (shadow of my 2nd function). I am a researcher/learner to the core and am intuitive with technology (moreso than most peoole I know).

    Btw, I've always had a love/hate relationship with Fe. It has always been the source of pain and confusion for me, but I have definitely blossomed by embracing it and working with it (rather than fighting it) over the last 5 years or so (however, I still feel weird from time to time if I get sucked in to verbalizing my hurt and empathy for the other person). Is that how it is for everyone with their secondary function?

    And oh yes, I'm also really good at Ne when I'm in a playful mood (my Ne tends to be quite humorous- think David Letterman- or is that still Ni?).

    Your insight is greatly appreciated!.

  11. Totally like that !
    My Ti prejudge people all the time , tries to problem solve like crazy , will read minds / see the future and come to a negative conclusion all the time . So what I'm saying it's totally an underdeveloped immature defensive strategy .
    It's trying to keep me safe by isolating me from potential threats in relationships . It's looking for catastrophes to be avoided .

  12. Thank you. Great video. I know lately I’ve been feeling like I don’t fit in anywhere and like the friends I reach out to just don’t reciprocate or call me back. I begin to feel unloved and why don’t these so called friends like me. I am isolating however I am also recovering from surgery. I feel safe and protected in my little home. So weird. Thank goodness for you tube. Fascinating how many INFJ have their own you tube channels. Something to think about. I do want to help others and create Harmony. Merry Christmas 🎄

  13. I have been perpetually withdrawn and reclusive by self imposed isolation for the past 2 years in a household of 3. I have been diagnosed with deep depression and anxiety disorder along with medication derived from a mouth swab to identify depleted chemicals. There has been some success but they are still trying to refine the correct mixture of meds. I have only recently found out my personality type. I truly would like to find happiness and joy along with what would be considered my norm.

  14. If you look at the view count of each of these "mind wiring" videos, you can see how interested each "type" is with this system, infp and infj at the top, estj near bottom

  15. I can relate with this so much. I took the test and end up being an INTP. The Ti child is so cold and distant making me defensive toward people I love. And I stuck in that Ti child for years, I felt misunderstood and lonely. This vid show this so well. When u said set boundaries.. say no to other ppl, I was like “danggg that’s hard” but I will take my lesson. I’ll try set the boundaries and stand for myself. Thank u so much for the info.

  16. My (10 year old) shuts itself off from people's if it feels hurt by people misconceptions of me without talking to me personally about any misunderstanding !

  17. "As INFJ, your mind is fundamentaly wired differently from other personnalities"
    Of course it is ! As the 15 others personnality types wirings are different from each others. Otherwise, 99% of the population would share the exact same personnality …

  18. Hey Personality Hacker could you please make more videos like these for mind wiring for the other 8 sensors?

  19. I'm not that INFJ! I'm a boss. I charge "men" with guns pointed at me! For the other INFJ male's at a young! Act right and be a real boss!! As Nikola Tesla said join the Stream!

  20. DANGER/RED ALERT: With humility and love I'd like to suggest that there's one ENORMOUS piece missing from this model that can pose a HUGE DANGER to INFJs. The frequency with which we encounter toxic people and energy vampires is INCREDIBLY high. Simply telling an awakening/immature INFJ to extend Fe to ourselves does nothing to protect us from these people. This is because at any point in our lives we will inevitably be drawn into a confrontation where Fe is actually used against us to keep us trapped in an abusive situation. A slightly more aware INFJ might use Ti to set boundaries, but will probably walk away feeling lost, confused, and self-loathing because our Fe will tell us that was somehow the wrong thing to do. This is because toxic people don't engage with the world the same way we do. They don't care about harmony. The solution to this problem is to safely leverage your NiTi loop and consume tons of content/techniques on how to defeat Narcissism and Toxic Personalities. This will sharpen the sword of the Ti so that when we have to pull it out, it's like a protective older brother rather than a 10 year old child. The Devil is real. Resit him and he shall flee from you. Much love. xx

  21. My uncle is the complete opposite of all that I value and stand for. Vain, manipulative, shallow, materialistic. "Lie only if you know you can get away" – his words of wisdom when I worked with him in his business.
    He had an argument with a customer then decided to snap at me over a small mistake he cause me to make absent mindedly. He was taking it out on me like I'm some punching bag.
    I'm against saying anything that would sour anyones mood. So I stared at him. I was furious and all I could do was channel this fury through my eyes. Didn't break eye contact even when he was stuttering his words. I let the stare linger long after he was done. Didn't blink. I'm sure he got the message that I despised him from the bottom of my heart at that moment . 20 mins later I'm taking to him. Work stuff. Give him the idea that im mostly over it. I live with him so I cant make it awkward at his home.
    Funny, he tried to talk to me regarding non work related stuff (rarely happens) in front of his wife at home to see if we were cool. I smiled, played the part to maintain harmony.
    Few months later. He overstayed his Visa, got deported. I'm family, so wanted me to take his business cuz im the only one he can trust there.
    I refused and went backpacking to Australia. Lol.
    Business that he built through deceit where only the deceitful come to make their living. No thanks. I dont want my soul to rot like his.
    Took some time but I've learned to understand and forgive his kind.
    Cant appreciate the good in the absence of the bad.

  22. I've been reading self help material since childhood, I didn't even realize people were making such a big deal about infj until I googled it my result. What?! even people saying to others "you're not a REAL infj, you just want to be cool" what? who would argue with someone that they're REALLY introverted intuitive,feeling and judging. Crazy!

  23. Over the years, my 10 year old has got me worrying about if the kindness I show to people will ever be returned in the same caliber that I gave it. It's quite annoying because now I hesitate sometimes before I do something nice.

  24. i am an infj/ i have taken the test 4 times/ i am so confused because there is different approachs on the web by different people!

  25. we are perfectionists that's why we worry all the time!!! we have to stop trying to please every body cause it's impossible!! i am writing this for myself too!!!

  26. Took me more than 3 decades to figure these things out. So helpful. Thank u!

    The only thing I think might be short-sighted is placing accuracy, the child, as a total lose-lose. I tend to think all
    Functions have their purpose…and all can be tools for good and bad. If harmony, for example, overrides accuracy entirely for me, then that’s when people-pleasing begins. Unless the labels are just misleading me…

  27. Why do we have to think so much the whole time and always feel incomplete? I just wish i was as blind and as happy as other people

  28. I don't know if you are going to read it. But I have gathered so much information about INFP and INFJ and it's said that they differ a lot because the types have different cognitive functions. But I really identify with both of them heavily. So I couldn't put myself in a box to say I am an INFP or INFJ just identifying with one type. I don't know but I feel like I am in a superposition..
    Is it possible? What do you think? My therapist wanted me to check my type out to get some direction. And stated that these Myers Briggs tests are not scientifically proven. So that I don't take them super serious.
    How can I maybe identify what I fit best in? Any suggestions? Or would you say it doesn't matter it's OK to feel like both?. Thank you

  29. I agree. Because we are givers and like to help people, we are often taken advantage of. I agree we need to set boundaries. I am very proactive. I like to keep busy and do not like boredom. Because of this business, we automatically do things that help others, that others then expect it to continue to happen. We often do not think of our own needs. I often don't ask the question "Do you love me". I am one who displays my love by cooking a good meal. (Romantic). Finding ways to make the person happy. This is an area I have to teach myself to speak my feelings. That there are times when boundaries need to be in place. I don't like to hurt people and do not like to be hurt either. Sometimes I way things up first, other times I just speak what's on mind. (Then told I am judgmental, when I explain what they say or do is not right, if I feel I am right). Communication is a must. Most relationships suffer this the most. It depends on the person as many may see what you say or do as a criticism and get angry. Communication comes to a end. (Conflict is not our favourite). One is sometimes more mature than their partner. Debates are often seen as arguments or forcing ones opinion on them. Not true. One cannot force one to do anything if they don't want to. That too can cause conflict. There are always areas in our personality that need improving. This applies to both people interacting. The INFJ keep a lot to themselves and only open up if they can trust the person they are with. They are just so complex. One minute a talker, next can be one who is silent and observing. (Then asked what's wrong – nothing's wrong, just in a quiet space). A introvert -our cave, then extrovert, enjoying being with people. All depends on the situation they are in. Often feel my mind is a huge filing cabinet. Looking, sensing, listening, absorbing, analyzing information and actions. A very curious mind. (The where, when, how, why, who) Its no wonder they need their quiet space. I am curious to know if other INFJ feel this at times too.

  30. This explains why I can accept people unconditionally irl but online I have zero patience for people whose ideas I find harmful to others. People who know me irl are often surprised by my online ruthless behavior.

  31. Shut in behavior: not necessarily connected with self loathing; self protection is an aspect, especially when recovering from situations involving toxic people, or people in your space, defying attempted boundaries, maybe sly, untrustworthy types.
    These situations can also trigger depression, a not uncommon side-kick to fear or struggles with setting and enforcing personal boundaries.

  32. As an INFJ, I think other people are always wanting to be truthful, unbiased, and working towards win-win situations. Boy, this is dangerous when a narcissist blunders into your area of regard.

  33. There are so many videos on INFJ's it's not so rare anymore. Therefore I'm an WXYZ and I gotta take a mad P

  34. First time watching. Being looking for something like this, too help me understand my personality. INTJ. Please keep teaching how INTJ process information , and retrieve information.

  35. Judging by the last couple videos ive watched. I am clearly an INFJ. I have spot on with every video I've watched except this one. I can only speak for myself so this video may relate to other but as far as for myself. This video I so far off on every level. Yes there are some thing I've been able to agree with and say "yeah, pretty much" but for the most part this video has been so far off. 1. I really don't give a shit about the approval of others. People either love or hate me and im fine with that. 2. I know my boundaries because I have saught them out and know where to draw the line. 3. Ok, i cant think of 3 right now because this list is so long I have honestly forgot all the shit i was gonna say. Good try though but speaking for myself your way off.

  36. This video helped and all, it did. But I can hear the saliva moving in your mouth when you pronounce Every. Single. Syllable dude. But thanks for the info though.

  37. What is all the sudden interest in INFJs that I am seeing lately? On Pinterest and now on YouTube without my searching for them. If we are so rare, what is this? It feels like I am being hunted! "How to spot an INFJ." WOW, really? Having been victimized by a couple of narcissistic people in my past, this is starting to turn me into a recluse!

  38. I'm doing exactly that and. ever leave and am hating it I used to do so much for my whole family and everyone around me until they picked and picked and picked until I kind of gave up

  39. I'm only 5 minutes in, but I wanted to make a point dot-dot-dot you start talkin about boundaries just after 5:00, and something it seems isn't being mentioned is that sometimes removing boundaries is as important. Sometimes personal boundaries, but often outside boundaries that reduce Harmony around you need to be addressed and either modified or removed. I don't know if you're going to touch on this later, but when talking about boundaries that was something that hammered on me immediately – it's not always about putting them up… 😉

  40. For 17 years straight I rate as an INFJ. This might not resound plausible as an IFNJ. I work in executive protection (high profile client security). I create harmony from conflict. I can predict behavior and find comfort from my accurate assessments. Thank you for posting the video.

  41. Thank you for this. My 10ys is a piece of shyt. If my intuition tells me that someone may actually love me but they say/pretend otherwise. So I them suffer by not saying a word or responding to anything that isnt directed at me or is subliminal thinking it's not my problem;but feeling knowing that I actually caused it. I care but a good amount of time has passed and I feel it would be better if we just never really knew each other and tried elsewhere were there's less games and confusion.

  42. Everyone is under me.. they are so immature and untrained.. I am tired of trying to help, an insufferable world.. they use you, and then they mock you, when you have suffered and pulled them out of the mud… There is no pleasing these idiots, and I suddenly don't want or need their acceptance.. I have played dumb to fit in all my life, when the whole time, I was thinking, my God you are stupid..I went along with every idiot, I ever met, just to get acceptance, or not be alone..
    Suddenly, alone does not seem so bad… Sorry if this seem cold, but I give up

  43. l don’t feel vulnerable but l have a anger issue.l can not except idiocy behavior or thinking.l try empathy but still l can’t understand all.

  44. I am a INFJ I took the Personality test and it said that I was thank you for this video now I’m looking in to all that can help me if anyone has anything they will like to share with me plz do so my email is [email protected]
    Thank yuans God bless 😇

  45. Thank you for this short and concise explanation of the INFJ reality filter.

    I had a therapist tell me once, after I told her that life can feel unreal, to focus on the breath and the feel of my feet striking the earth. You are right that it is a blind spot for us. My first wife, and others, would say to me that I was addicted to exercise as I was VERY active with physical activities. I laughed it off back then but later learned to understand it as me trying to get and keep in touch with this her and now offered by kinetics.

    Having spent my life isolated, even when surrounded by people, it was the mention that INFJs will feel more alone with others than by themselves that finally gave me peace with this seemingly odd way of being. Everyone I know and see loves social gatherings, but regardless of how much effort I would put towards this it would always be the same result. I'd feel energy drained, exhausted, and with some level of self loathing for being such an oddball. Of course, now I just know that I am "rare" 🥰🤣

    So much of my life has been will power over intuition ("There was nowhere to go but everywhere so just keep rolling under the stars" JK) and reactionary "does this make sense?" that would, as you point out, lead to hypercritical thought and withdraw.

    I appreciate your recommendations for growth. I don't exactly need a space ship to help me escape planet INFJ but at 56yo it is probably proof enough that my life of trauma has made the gravity of growth potential quite dense indeed.

    Fortunately MDMA therapy (or while simply rolling under the open sky) will be possible no later than 2021. Thanks to the tireless work of Rick Doblin and the MAPS organization 🙏

    Until then (and likely thereafter) I'll check out you 5 star book and "grow". 🙏

  46. I think many INFJs (would, could, may) suffer from 'impostor syndrome' or one day get shocked when someone tells them that what they call 'day to day life' is normally perceived as mild depression, anxiety and low self esteem the least. What really annoys me is that the doctors are selling extroverted therapies to INFJs (?). Its like telling a cat to go fetch or run with you in the park. :-/

  47. Good content. I experienced all of these things on my own but it helped to see what parts of me were actually driven towards growth and which parts inhibited my growth. Intuitively I knew how to fix myself but I needed an objective guide. This was very helpful. Thanks.

  48. Well structured and explained but it goes deeper than that , those are not drivers its just what people see when they pass there is a source for all that pattern. That was amaizing.

  49. Wow. I thought I was an INFP for years now, but I watched your INFP and this video and i realized that based upon the cognitive functions, i am an INFJ

  50. How interesting… I like the car analogy using that back seat “10 yr old Accuracy/Logic” made more sense than I’ve heard on this explanation before. After childhood maltreatment it contributed greatly to many decisions with only a black & white perspective with safety as a top priority. Meeting God and giving it all to Him was an instant relief and gradual healing process that started with an INTP son (whose logic surpassed mine at what 4 or 5 years old?) and continued on when becoming caregiver to mom (ISFJ) with TBI and grandmother (ISTP) with TIA’s and making it ALL work with many boundaries… I am well-practiced in NO and do not stay in bad relationships, but isolation and obligations do take a toll on my friendships that’s what I’m working on now.

  51. Theres one problem I struggle with as an INFJ and it's that I cannot say what I want to say without overthinking what the answer would be. I beat myself down before I can even ask the question and then I sit in awkward silence. I hate that I do this and I wish I was more extraverted and could just lighten up a room without overthinking what I have to say. I'm still working on this and I know I can overcome this, but it will take a while

  52. I find it strange as a married mother of two with no real close friends because since I can remember, I have been an introvert outside of school and work. I can only lightly socialize for small periods of time. Depending on the conversation, or activity it can emotionally and physically exhaust me especially if they are extremely extroverted. I prefer time with my husband and kids or alone. I do adjust socially and can be the life of the party (with enough alcohol) lol. I have a problem setting boundaries with personalities I want to help or are troubled with health issues. I had to ask a roommate to move out of our home because she constantly crossed boundaries in hopes to replace what family (she and her son) she did not have. She was also on permenant disability, major abandonment issues and going through a divorce. I was guilted into a lot of things when I did not want to do them because she wanted to give her son the family he never had. The final straw was when she pushed to combine our sons bday parties. I told her I had no problem attending his and they can come to my son's. Anyway, I don't like my kindness to be taken advantage of. People exhaust me. 🙁

  53. I'm wired .The years lived that are quite a few by now , make things much easier to grasp n do. Life cannot be experienced in theories. Live it the way you are. No more, no less. Be you. That'll do.

  54. I’ve been in my room for the last 10 years. I no longer let my 4 brothers in my life cause they were killing me.

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